Friday, April 30, 2010

Planners

I’ve been trying to get organized. My biggest need is getting everything out of my head and recorded somewhere I trust. As I’m going through my day I may think, “I should clean out the fridge”. If I don’t write it down, I’ll forget about it until the next time I open the fridge. Unfortunately, when I’m opening the fridge, I’m grabbing something to eat and not looking for something to clean, so it doesn’t get done. My quest for a new system of organization has begun with the search for a planner.

I’m picky about my planners. I want something I can always have with me. It has to be a daily planner with an hourly breakdown. It has to have full pages for Saturday and Sunday. It has to hold up to the abuse of being carried everywhere I go. My first thought was RM Daily Planner. If you served a mission for the LDS church sometime between 2004 and the present, you’re familiar with this type of planner. It meets most of my criteria, but I’d really prefer my hourly breakdown to be a half-hourly breakdown. I want to schedule 30 minutes of yoga, and then 30 minutes of NASCAR without writing them on the same line, because let’s face it, they don’t go together. There was also a lot of wasted space that I wouldn’t really use. It was also a little pricey. So, I tried making my own.

If you served a mission for the LDS church sometime between 19?? and 2004, you’re familiar with the planner I made. Each one holds a week, it folds in three, and has space to track goals and take notes. Oh, and it is made of card stock to give it some durability. In my mission we customized ours a little bit to better fit our needs. They’re compact, customizable, cheap, and just about perfect, but they still tend to fall apart, and since they only hold a week, important information has to be transferred frequently. I really like them, but I’ve opted to just go ahead and get a smart phone.

I’ll always have my phone with me, I won’t need a pen, it will sync with my computer, it will beep at me as a reminder, and I can fit as much information, as far into the future as I want. I think it will revolutionize my life. No more 3-year-old flip phone.

So, the weekend is coming up. Have you planned it yet? You’ve got to take advantage! Have some fun, relax, knock things of your to do list, or take a trip. Monday’s just around the corner. Don’t have any regrets when it comes!

Friday, April 23, 2010

Past, Present, and Future Me

In the first grade I wrote a message to my future children in my journal. It was, “kids, I won’t get mad at you when you dig a big hole in the yard.” I guess I felt like when I turned into an adult I’d forget what it was like to be a kid. At some point I would mistakenly value a nice yard more than a hole to the center of the Earth. I wanted to speak from the past and remind myself what my true values should be. I love reading old journal entries. They’re filled with messages from past versions of me. Missionary Kyle wrote, “Never put your girlfriend before missionary work.” Soon after the mission, when dating was actually an option, I did exactly what I had warned myself about. I can’t say I regret it either. Now I'm married to the love of my life! What happened to missionary Kyle? Where did he go? Does he still exist somewhere in the past? Does he exist somewhere inside of me right now?

It’s a worthwhile exercise to go over some of your outdated values and priorities. Were they abandoned for the right reason? Did you just get caught up in life and forget about them? Which ones deserve a place in your life again? At the same time, what's important to you right now? What do you want to tell future you? Write it down some place where future you will find it.

Friday, April 16, 2010

The Meaning of Life

What is the meaning of life? That’s easy. The meaning of life is a bleu cheese bacon burger; hold the tomato; extra bacon. Now you can stop wondering. I’m glad I could help.

It’s so easy, and I mean SO easy, to go through an entire day/week/month/year without ever living! I’m sure I have gone several years without a single bleu cheese bacon burger. How does that happen?! With schedules filled to capacity we sacrifice living in the name of survival. We need food, clothing, shelter, and iPhones to survive. These are basics, and to get them, you have to WORK. Work and other societal obligations can take over completely if we let them. If you’re not careful you can live for 100 years, but only have REALLY lived for the 10 minutes it took you to eat that bleu cheese bacon burger at a diner in Poughkeepsie. Don’t let this be you!

Ask yourself, when do I feel alive? When am I at my happiest? What makes my life worth living? If your answers are never and nothing, I recommend you see a therapist, but if you have answers, ask yourself if you dedicate enough time to that activity/person/foodstuff. Your life is right now! Don’t sacrifice everything and suffer in hopes that in the future you’ll be able to relax. NEWS FLASH! After a lifetime of not relaxing, you’ll have no idea how to enjoy it when the time comes…if it comes.

For this week, try taking a moment every night to write down what you did to live that day. What was the thing that made all the stress worth it? If you find this to be a difficult task, it's time for some self-reflection.

Friday, April 9, 2010

Don't Let Your Goals Hold You Back

Let’s face it. We don’t know our own potential. We form an idea based on what we’ve done in the past, what people we know have done, and what others tell us we can do; however, our potential isn’t really based on the past, other people’s accomplishments, or someone else’s guess. What DOES determine our potential? I don’t know, probably the position of Venus when you were born or whether or not you're a middle child. The point is that goal setting is guesswork. We do our best to set the bar at a level that seems both challenging and attainable, but we don’t know where that is until we try. 

Stretching Goals
If a goal doesn’t challenge you, it doesn’t belong on your list of goals. It belongs on your to do list. Goals should stretch you and foster growth. It may be tempting to set your expectations low to ensure success; however, is it really success? What if you were capable of so much more? How can you know? That’s why it’s so important to set goals at what you believe to be your maximum capability or even just beyond your maximum capability. These are stretching goals that will ensure you are reaching your true potential.

Limiting Goals
When we underestimate ourselves, it is possible to set goals that can actually limit us. Let’s say you organize an event to raise money for charity and set the goal at $5,000. You expect it to take 4 hours to reach the goal, but it only takes one hour. What do you do now? Do you end the event early and go home? Of course not. You continue to work hard and try for $20,000. It seems obvious, but in many areas of our lives we quit when we’ve reached our goal and never know what we could have done. This is where stepping up you goals comes into play.

Step up Your Goals
Stepping up your goals can be planned, or spontaneous. It's taking what you would normally do, or what you plan to do and making it bigger, better, more challenging, and more rewarding. One way to step it up is to take a limiting goal and turn it into a stretching goal while you’re planning. Often times; however, we don’t even realize we’ve set a limiting goal. In these cases, it’s important to evaluate your performance while working towards a previously set goal. Ask yourself, “Is this too easy? Should I be working harder? Could I do more?” If the answer is yes, don’t let your goal limit you. Step it up and show that goal who’s the boss. And I don’t mean Tony Danza. Never settle for just checking that goal off your list. Destroy it. Annihilate it.

Friday, April 2, 2010

Accountability

Have you ever been really excited about a goal only to forget about it a week later? Maybe a goal to eat healthier was quickly replaced with a goal to get as many double chocolate chip cookies in your mouth as humanly possible. Or maybe you were really excited to save money and finally get out of debt, but the opportunity to own every episode of Seinfeld on Blu-ray made you reevaluate your priorities. Accountability is one of the keys to keeping this from happening and sticking to goals.

Be Accountable to Yourself
First of all we need to be accountable to ourselves. We need to have a clear and well defined goal free from loopholes or vague interpretations. Then we need to commit to that goal whole heartedly. While working towards a goal, recognize justification and stop it in its tracks.

“I’ve had a rough day, so I deserve a fistful of pepperoni and a two liter of soda.”
“I really want it and it’s on sale, so I’m really saving $50 and not spending $200”

Justification will fool you into trading what you want in the long run for what you want in the moment. When the immediate satisfaction wears off, you’ll be left with regret (except for the example of owning all the seasons of Seinfeld on Blu-ray; you’ll never regret that).

Be Accountable to Others
For those of us who aren’t as strong willed as we’d like to be, it’s important to tell other people what our goals are and ask them to hold us accountable. Friends and family can help remind you of your goals and help you escape moments of temptation. A life coach can check up with you and help you remember your motivations. Knowing that other people will know if we fail can push us back on track.

Be Accountable to God
For those goals that are really important and really difficult, being accountable to God is a great help. Pray regularly, and when you do, tell your Heavenly Father what you’re doing to be a better person. Be specific, and ask for His help. The next time you pray, give a report and give thanks. When temptation comes allow yourself to think, “When I pray tonight, do I want to be thanking the Lord for the strength he gave me to succeed or do I want to be explaining why I faltered?” You can lie to your friends and you can even lie to yourself, but you can’t lie to God.

If you mess up, that’s okay. It’s usually not the end of the world. Just recognize your mistake, find out what went wrong, and recommit to do better. Keeping all this in mind, I feel like I should let everyone know what my goal is with this blog. I want to have a new post every Friday. Please hold me accountable. If you check my blog on a Saturday and there isn’t a new post, I want to hear about it. Thanks for your help.